im feeling so damn sian today. perpetually souless. sometimes i even wondered why i existed at all. feeling all hopeless about everything. how pessimistic. and i just happen to think about all the bad things that may happen in my life and im so disheartened. feel like crying so much. though our class won the merit award for zzjsj, i wasnt anything near elation. perhaps just a mere excitement. freak. i really dont think im in the mood to blogg today. so i'll just ass off..